Some New Expressions Heard in Canada

Updated Feb. 2010

 

Cringing, Kowtowing & Lickspittle Subservience

Q: Did you have to grovel?

A: Like a leper at a kissing booth.

Faithful Correspondent Bill Turner in Brandon, Manitoba emails this explanation of the pungent saying’s use: “The saying could be used under a number of situations such as: asking for a raise, begging for sex, seeking a favour, trying to get in free to a movie or attempting to cage a free meal. The person hearing your begging story would ask, “Did you have to grovel?” You reply, “Like a leper at a kissing booth!”  The hearer imagines how much groveling a leper missing various appendages would have to do to get a kiss. 

 

Stupidity

He’s a couple of crayons short of a rainbow.

A reference to the standard box of Crayola-brand crayons.

from Caroline Yull, Bath, Ontario

 

Threats

I’ll give you so many lefts, you’ll beg for a right!”

Caroline Yull, Bath, Ontario writes, “That was said to me by a young woman in a Nanaimo B.C. bar who was drunk and just itching for a fight.”

 

Indoor recess

This is a Canadian public school term that evolved because, on some Canadian winter days, it is too cold to let the children play in the yard outside.

 

Wind-chill factor

 

Caution

During the January 2008 stock market nightmare, an expert broker was asked if small investors should buy shares. She said, “Maybe. But stock prices will tank even deeper this month and nobody wants to catch a falling knife.”

Now there’s a nifty arrow of proverbial acuity that ought to be in everyone’s conversational quiver.

 

Flatulence

1. He who farts in church sits in own pew.

2. “That’s an heir to the throne,” said the king as he farted.

3. Breaking wind? Hell, that was a real shirt-lifter!

4. Slang term for beans warmed over a campfire: tent-puffers.

 

Lack of Beauty

1. She was so ugly, even the tide wouldn’t take her out.

 

Baldness

1. This comment was made by a man who once had a full head of hair but now does not: It used to be all waves, now it's all beach.

 

Other People’s Stupidity

These are actual lines from military performance appraisals at a Canadian base.

1. How dumb is that recruit? He got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.

2. Evaluation Parameters for Platoon Mental Acuity:

She has a room temperature IQ. Knows enough to pick the flowers, but still sticks them in her ear.

3. That dude is so dense, light bends around him.

4. Look at that guy. It's hard to believe that he beat 1,000,000 other sperm.

 

If you have Canadian or other sayings you would like to share, email them to me. If you want your name listed below the saying as contributor, tell me so in your email.

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Please email me at wordguy@shaw.ca

 

 

© 2010 William Gordon Casselman

 

If you want to share some wonderful Canadian sayings, you will find more than 3,000 Canadian expressions in my books. Each of my three volumes of Canadian Sayings contains about 1,200 zesty phrases used by Canadians both today and throughout our history. Remember that profits from the sale of my books keep this website online.

 

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