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Stylite & Astylar
One grows to cherish some words because they are so seldom used. Yes, such hoarding of rare verbal nutmeats tends to make one an elitist squirrel, a word snob. Proudly do I claim fellowship in that haughty and privileged coterie. After all, one must know the obscure word in order to assume snobbish possession of it—and that excludes 99% of earth’s unsoaped rabblement.
Astylar is Stellar
People who admire great buildings with pillars and columns have a most unusual English adjective, drawn from architectural jargon, with which to dismiss unpillared structures, buildings with no columns or pilasters in their design. One may say, of some uncolumned ruin, it is but an astylar shambles. The English word astylar ‘without pillars’ is compounded of Greek alpha privative, that is, the Greek prefix ἀ - a ‘not’ + Greek στῦλος stylos ‘column, pillar.’
The Saintly Seat of Saint Simeon
The same root gives us the name of two Christian saints who sat at the top of a pillar for decades, St. Simeon Stylites Elder and Junior. One rumour says both fell off and smithereened their sainted noggins on the pavement below. Good.
Here’s the name in its original Greek: Ἅγιος Συμεὼν Στυλίτης Hagios Symeon Stylites “Holy Simeon, Pillar-Sitter.”
History tells of two Saint Simon or Simeon Stylites, both “saints” stood on columns, both tortured themselves in the same ways, both wrought miracles, and both died at their posts of penance. St. Simeon the Elder was born at Sisan in Syria about 390 CE, and was buried at Antioch in 459 or 460. The Simeon the Younger was born at Antioch 521 CE and died in 592.
Do Saints Exist?
My father taught me to give a wide berth and much intellectual suspicion to any human proclaiming himself or herself to be a saint. Ascetic sniffishness is done strictly to gratify overweening personal vanity. I sum up my view with this sentence: Mother Teresa fucked water buffaloes. There are no saints, except persons in pursuit of self-glory. One of the neat touches in Dostoevsky’s portrait of the “saintly” Father Zossima in The Brothers Karamazov is that Father Zossima smells bad. The nostril-corrugating reek of body rot and the malodorant seepage of half-truth oozes through his subsidized old flesh.
But let us climb back up to Saint Simeon. 39 years on top of a high pillar! What a dipstick! Oops. That should read: what an on-stick!
Mark Twain’s novel A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court features a man who lives on a pillar in the valley of the hermits and repeatedly bends over at the waist; the main character hitches him to a sewing machine and uses the man to make linen shirts.
Caution: Holy Cow & Holy Bull Ahead!
Way to go, Sam Clemens! I’m with Twain. St. Simeon was a mockworthy moron, a psychotic Christian nutbar belonging to the same tribe of self-wounders as modern, put-upon adolescent damsels who lovingly carve the lyrics of Justin Bieber songs into the skin and flesh of their arms and legs with Bowie knives, all because Mommy forgot to kiss them nightie-night. Said one pouting carveress, recently interviewed in public print, “I was denied licorice all-sorts when I was five years old.” O deprivation most vile! Why, it’s like forcing a young gal to live without Jesus, “American Idol” or glow-in-the-dark fingernail polish.

copyright © 2012 William Gordon Casselman

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7-page free sample of this book
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Click the bookcover below for a sample of the contents.

A Perfect Xmas Stocking Stuffer
October 23, 2011
New review on Amazon.com of my book
Canadian Words and Sayings (paperback)
by WB Johnston
“True patriotism is rare. It’s not about flag-waving always - although a wee bit of flag-waving is fine! Casselman loves his country, his fellow Canadians, and words. Hard to say which he loves more. Fortunately we don’t have to choose.
This book is a labour (let’s spell it the Canadian way, eh?) of love. It is also a work of art. With careful scrutiny of language sources, it honours every single ethnic tradition from First Peoples to the most recent of immigrants in the rich melting pot of Canadian words and sayings. There are moments of insight and, the humour is rich.
I put this on my bookshelf next to Barry Lopez’ Common Ground.
As an American who fell in love with Alberta over forty years ago, this is finer with my breakfast than a dead Tim*!
Kudos, Mr. Casselman, you did us all proud.”
* (Casselman note) A dead Tim is a cup of coffee bought at a chain of Canadian coffee shops called Tim Horton’s, named after a deceased famous Canadian NHL hockey player. I heard the slang phrase on the campus of the University of Manitoba one chilly Winnipeg day. |
This book is available online at Chapters/Indigo and Amazon. There are fine used copies for the low, low price of .01¢ !!! Yikes! New copies are under 10 dollars. The author's royalty on copies costing one cent is minimal. Remember that. After all, it's almost Christmas.

Reviews of my New Book
Click bookcover for preview

Jenni French of San Fancisco, California writes on her blog "My Corner of the Universe" for March 19, 2011:
Casselman, Bill. Where a Dobdob Meets a Dikdik: A World Lover's Guide to the Weirdest, Wackiest, and Wonkiest Lexical Gems. Avon, MA: Adams Media, 2010.
"I admit it: I'm a word nerd. I love words: weird words, long words, obscure words, funny words. This book is right up my alley. With chapters like "Nautical Words," "Creepy Words," and "Edible Words," I have enjoyed every page of this book.
And the author has quite a way with words, so I have found myself rereading many sentences in this book and slowing my progress through it.
My current favorite sentence is found in a discussion of dog hybrid breed names: "What a revolting concatenation of cutesiness and smarmy nomenclatorial treacle parading under the name of canine hybrid breed names" (19).
I'm sure I'll have another favorite sentence in a day or two.
This book is just that good and just that entertaining."
Author Bill Casselman replies: "Thanks, Jenni!"
Just a reminder that this book contains my ALL-NEW word esssays, none of which are available anywhere else in print or online.
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A Great New Review of My Latest Book!
October 26, 2011
Welcome to the Enchanted Forest
By WB Johnston
This review is about Bill Casselman’s latest e-book about words: Where a Dobdob Meets a Dikdik: A Word Lover’s Guide to the Weirdest, Wackiest, and Wonkiest Lexical Gems (Kindle Edition)
“Wade Davis, lately of National Geographic, once described each living language as “an old-growth forest of the human spirit.” Once you decide to enter the kleptomaniacal woods of our mother tongue, what you need is more than a tour guide. This is no Disney-fied ‘keep-your-hands-inside-the-car-at all-times’, point A to point B, clear-cutting mining of language. You, here, are in the hands of Sir William of Cassel, a genuine shaman modestly posing as a simple lover of words.
In the best of the spiritual tradition, Bill is the shape-shifter who constantly leads you to all the places you need to find in your soul. Every page is a new country, an invitation to an excursion into the wonderland of rich connections with the myriad of sources of what so often we unthinkingly wield as a prosaic tool.
Pay absolutely no attention to anyone who tells you that this book is anything but pure gold. It’s simply not true, sadly, that all the world loves a lover. Particularly someone whose love is so boundless.
But Sir William is fearless. You don’t earn your keep as a medicine man if you have a thin skin. While I cannot for the life of me understand how anyone could walk away from this book unmoved by its wit, its wisdom and the beautiful transparency by which the author celebrates the glorious romp of our almost unlimited linguistic exuberance, I have to sadly conclude that once in a while, you do meet someone who can’t see the forest for the trees, eh?
Read this book. Leave it on the sofa instead of the $%#!*$% TV remote. Maybe someone you care about will pick it up, even just for a moment, and fall in love with their heritage?
Leave it on your desk at work and trust that someone will riffle through it when you are out at lunch. Shamans are magicians of the highest order. The work of their hands and hearts is game-changing. Or, hey, put it on your Kindle and just feel comforted that you can wander back out into the forest with Bill even in the middle of a boring lecture.
Enjoy.”
Casselman replies: Thank you so much, Dr. J., for the kudos.
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Cindy Lapeña on her blog "Creativity Unlimited" of July 19 ,2011, writes:
Posted by mimrlith in 365 Things to Look Forward to.
Tags: 365 things to look forward to, books, reading
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19. Starting a book
To a certified bibliophile like me, a.k.a. bookworm, one of the most exciting things to look forward to is to start reading a new book. In fact, sometimes the prospect of starting to read a new book is so exciting that I have to hurry to finish the book I am currently reading, just so I can start a new one.
If there’s one thing I can’t resist, it’s a book, especially if it promises to be a good one. Of course there are certain books I just won’t touch or be seen with, but at the risk of being hung by my thumbs by fans of such literature, I will not mention any genres in particular. . .
Seeing a book with a title that totally captivates me, like Where a Dobdob meets a Dikdik (yes, that is a book title!) has me so worked up, I just can’t wait to dive in. I imagine all sorts of deliciously fancifully outrageous words with a title like that. Is it obvious? I just love books on words. You won’t believe how many dictionaries I own. Or books on lexical oddities and other lexical explorations. Yes, I am a logophile of sorts. I love the new words I pick up from new books. I relish finding out the meanings of all manner of words and phrases and expressions. What could be more fun?"
(Replies author Bill Casselman: Please scroll to bottom of page or click here to link to a free seven-page preview of my new book, Where a Dobdob Meets a Dikdik.
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Testimonial Email
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Dear Mr. Casselman,
A search for the origins of an improbable-looking word, paraprosdokian, led me to the first piece of your prose I have had the pleasure of reading, "The Bogus Word Paraprosdokian & Lazy Con Artists of Academe." I have just placed an order for Where a Dobdob Meets a Dikdik, Canadian Words & Sayings, and As The Canoe Tips, and will add more of your titles as I finish these.
I have just retired from a 40-plus year career in book publishing, the last thirty years spent as director/editor of a number of university presses, attempting to sort the genuine writers from the "Lazy Con Artists of Academe." Sad to say, the latter have so over-bred the former that I could no longer see the rare gem in the avalanches of offal that daily swamped my office and desk. I visited your website and spent far too long there; it was a pleasure to meet a real writer through his work.
. . . I revisited the paraprosdokian page, and have finally quit laughing again at “Casselman's Conclusion.” You were not unkind to the "profligate prof-lets." During my years as an acquisitions editor, in rejection letters I often quoted Prof. Moses Hadas, classicist at Columbia University, who wrote a young scholar in response to having been sent the prof-let's first book, "Thank you for sending me your book. I will waste no time reading it."
I know I will enjoy your books. Keep up the good work.
Thank you,
Luther Wilson
Director (Retired)
University of New Mexico Press, among others
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Nov. 15, 2010: On Twitter, Doug O'Neill, a happy buyer of my new Dobdob book, writes, "Even funnier flipping through it a second time around."
Thanks, Doug!
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Buy my new book online
at amazon.com
or, shopping in canada, click amazon.ca
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